i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
