The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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