What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
