p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
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