i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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