Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
