what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
