ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
one might say we're banned from that church
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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