is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
