I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
