Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
