one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
