The maid of honor just puked.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
