i think my tv is drunk
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
