So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize