RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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