The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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