You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
