Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
