I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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