remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize