please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize