I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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