Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
