My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
