Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
