He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
