3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
