where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
