If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i will never coherently bang her
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I stole a fireplace last night.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
