That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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