Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
