She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
