Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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