If i come over, it means nothing
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
