And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
