Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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