is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
