I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
