Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
