is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize