she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
