grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
