a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
do herpes really smell.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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