just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
