Jerry, you need to find god
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
