I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
