her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
