youre lurking in front of me
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
