question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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