Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
