It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize