I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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