so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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