she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize