so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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