Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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