I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
